Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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