is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Randomize
