My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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