You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize