I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
