Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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