If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
