okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
