I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
