This is the prime rib incident all over again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
