I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
FUCK WHALES
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
