YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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