Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
