When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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