If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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