Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
