Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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