Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
