At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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