he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize