Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My vagina is officially offended.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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