having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
