at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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