I wish life had little blips of pornography
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
