dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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