I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
