I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
