when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
