We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
