are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
