Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
