Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
