He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize