She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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