But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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