U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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