..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
