im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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