So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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