a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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