turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
