That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize