So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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