i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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