In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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