this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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