writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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