so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
