No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She bit a glass in half.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
