Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love you.
Bad choice
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