Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize