there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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