Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize