Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
