i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
