I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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