We're like a lot better than the average bears
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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