The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
