How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
