Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize