then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize