therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
