her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
