he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
