i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My bed smells like the plague
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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