It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
