You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
