im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
