I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
