I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize