If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
